A Rare Complaint

Just a brief blog to share my shame and embarrasment, suffered belatedly last night after a trip to the chemist to get Kate something to help relieve her blocked sinuses.

I´d taken a quick look in my Collins Gem to find the Spanish word for sinuses. Being a bit lazy I thought I could just use this word and a bit of mime to get my requirement across to the staff of the farmacia, rather than actually working out the complete sentance. In hindsight I´m unsure whether that was a good or a bad thing.

Anyway, Collins Gem said that sinus translates into Spanish as seno. That was good enough for me and I quite happily parked up in Llerena and walked to the nearest farmacia. The assistant was talking to two other customers but broke off to serve me.

“Here goes”, I thought, and, holding the bridge of my nose, said “¿Tierne algo para seno?” or something mumbled to that effect.

She looked confused. I repeated “seno” whilst stressing the bridge of my nose with my fingers.

She looked more confused. She called another assistant.

I tried again. “Seno” I said making my nose very apparent.

“¿Nacelles?” or something like that said the second assistant.

“¡Si, seno!” I replied.

She passed me something. I started to try to translate the packaging, but then noticed the Vicks logo. That was as much as I needed to know. “Si” I said and completed the purchase.

As I left the two assistants and customers looked bemused. Well what of it, I had what I´d come for.

Later I found myself looking though Collins Gem, trying to recall what Spanish for “speed bumps” is. There is a perfectly good reason, but I won´t go into that now.

Whilst doing this I made a discovery that suggests that there may be a typo in the English half of the dictionary. In the Spanish half, “seno” isn´t sinus, it´s a woman´s breast.

Now reconsider my exchange with the nice assistants in the farmacia.

I walked in, motioned to my nose and apparently asked the nice ladies if they had any treatment for my case of “Titnose”. No wonder they looked confused. I don´t imagine I helped the situation either by continuing to repeatedly ask for some treatment for my “Titnose”.

They must have been hugely relieved to discover that Vicks is a suitable treatment and at least there´ll be one farmacia in Spain that will always know how to help a mad ranting Englishman with such a rare complaint.

I go now to hang my head in shame.

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